Getting slapped in the face by an attractive Colombian woman is something that I would ordinarily welcome. When that woman is a lawyer, the wife of a Supreme Court judge, and a cousin of Sandra´s, I take pause. Many reasons streaked though my mind: Did I insult her by not eating the whole mountain of paella she stacked on my plate? Was dancing Cumbia, Merengue, and Vallenato (to name a few of the ones I tried) for an hour not long enough? Or, more likely, was it too long and thus insulting to her choreographic sensitivities? I have been told that there was a mosquito on my face and that this was the most efficient way of removing it, cognitive dissonance is leading me to adopt this explanation (though I have also been told that mosquitoes don´t live at Bogota´s altitude). Well, two things are certain:
One, I have earned my share of slaps throughout the years (most I have not collected).
Second, she and the rest of Sandra´s family are too polite and courteous to ever collect on the "slap" debt; thus, the killing of a mosquito explanation is the one I advise you to go with (the method, slapping, was just a bonus for you all).
On the forth day we went south-east though the Andes to the "sea of green" as they call the Colombian savanna. The savanna, by the way, extends all the way to the Atlantic ocean (through Venezuela). To get there we have to drive from North Bogota (were we live) though south Bogota until we reach the mountains and then we drive though and down the Andees. Quick geography lesson: The west part of Colombia is dominated by three vast Andean mountain ranges that run North to South and are parallel to each other. Cali and Medellin are the two major cities between the most western range and the middle one and Bogota is the biggest city between the middle range and the most eastern one. Thus, when one drives from the north of a city with a population of eight million people to the south of the city (when that city stretches north south because of the mountains) it is a major undertaking. To this visual image (the one I hope I just helped you create in your mind) consider that the southern (poor) part of Bogota barely resembles the north (less poor) part of Bogota. In the southern part, outside of the national highway, the streets are made out of dirt, the houses are made out of naked brick at the best, kids are everywhere, and people live day to day. This is where the people that rummage through the city´s trash for recyclable materials (paper, plastic, metal, etc) and whom I only see late at night with their mules or donkeys driving small carts with enormous burdens. This is where you find car mechanics that put cars up on bricks right on the highway and then crawl under them to do the repairs needed (these mechanics don´t have a garage to get the cars they are working on into). This is the area that Sandra did her practical training in when she was in medical school and were she got her full of gun shot wounds, stabbings, alcoholics, domestic abuse victims, etc. This is the area where people are desperate enough to work with the gorillas, the paramilitaries, the "narcos", or for themselves if a good kidnapping opportunity arises. It is not quite East Saint Louis, or South Central LA, but you get the picture!
Anyway, to go from Bogota to Villavicencio is only 80Km or 60 miles but it takes about 3 hours. Yes, most of it involves avoiding potholes, crazy buss drivers from hell (on a mission to take you back with them apparently), and rolling rocks (big as houses that occasionally fall down the mountain after heavy rains - have I mentioned that it has been raining a little every day?). The trip was pleasant as the company was great, the Andees beautiful, and the security forces present at every turn (I saw my first Colombian tanks, Colombian armored vehicles, Colombian special forces on patrol and then all the regular soldiers, state troopers, highway patrols etc that I am so used to).
Speaking of firsts, at a curve after a tunnel exit, I briefly saw (because we were driving so fast) a man laying on the right lane covered by a white sheet (blood everywhere) with his motorcycle under the front tire of a car, people standing around smoking (no ambulance in site nor did I detect a sense of urgency in those around him). Imagine my shock first by the site of the accident and then of the overwhelming apathy prevalent in and out of our car! I later found out that this is staged by the highway patrol in order to scare drivers into thinking of the consequences of risky driving behavior. In retrospect, it seems to me that the only person scared (in our car at least) was the damn tourist!
Anyway, after a three hour drive we arrived at Villavincencio and visited amongst other things a zoo with animals found in Colombia. Amongst those a number of anaconda´s, jaguars, piranhas, crocodiles, anteaters, monkeys, etc. Most of the animals were brought to this zoo because they were saved from poachers (thus some birds were missing wings, one of the big cats was missing an eye, etc). It was a great way to spend two hours, I recommend it to any of you that make it to Villavincencio one of these days.
Today we went to Zipaquira and the "Catedral Del Sal". This Cathedral of Salt had been dug into a salt mine (I guess Bogota is next to a mine that contains the largest known deposits of salt; in fact, enough to provide the whole world with salt for 150 years). It appears that the miners and a number of artists collaborated to dig out of salt a monument to miners and to God. The tour of the mine takes about 2 hours and it is quite the novelty. The handbook at the entrance proclaims it as the 8th wonder of the world (of course this is the same book that calls salt (NaCl) an element to be found on the periodic table with other metals; thus, this is perhaps not a good book to reference). I will send pictures soon but in the mean time you can click here to learn more. Oops... I am sorry that link takes you to another much older salt mine in Poland... try this instead for the one in Bogota.
Things I noticed today:
1.
Beer in Greece comes in 500ml bottles.
Beer in the US comes in 330ml bottles.
Beer in Colombia comes in 250ml bottles (and lists a suggested price of 40 cents in USD).
2.
Monkeys have very soft skin on their palms, when they grab your finder it feels like a baby´s hand.
3.
TV in Colombia is better than TV in the states! Here they get HBO, Cinemax, CNN international, Discovery Channel, The Learning Channel, CNN espaniol, The National Geographic Channel, BBC news, RAI, Telemundo, and much much more for a fraction of what we pay for half the channels!
Anyway, it is late and I am eating into day six´s hours.
Christos en Bogota.
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